Hardly a day goes by without media being awash with one sexual violence, misconduct or harassment and another. Usually, it is from the men to the women. Men who aspire to positions of influence, power or authority seems to assume some sense of entitlement to take sex by force in violation of the victim’s person, then blackmail the victim into silence.
At other times, sexual demands are made in exchange for promotion, favors, preferences in the work place and in schools and colleges, grades are the medium of exchange for sex. Those men who are not so skillful in the bater, victimize and oppress the victim into submission or threaten them with sack or query, if they fall out of line.
Oftentimes, maids in large hotels are not allowed to serve beyond certain hours of the day as their walking into rooms to serve may put them in “harms” way. A certain MD of World Bank who was soon to be French President accosted a hotel maid and made her perform embarrassing sexual acts. When she found out who he was, she squealed. The FBI quickly swung into action before the semen samples were washed away. He was taken off in handcuff shamefully. Amazingly, the wife and family stood by him even though he lost the bid to become president of France. He went to jail and later paid compensations.
Another, gymnastics United States doctor had been molesting young girls from ages 8 to 20 in a bid to “massage” them in preparation for their gymnastic completions. One felt so violated knowing this must be something wrong she spoke up. Though stigmatized somewhat the animal is in jail behind bars.
Another, a renowned comedian. You want to have your rips cracked? Watch this guy. But, unknown to his millions of fans, he had been doping women and taking sexual advantage of them for years. The women finally found the voice to speak up and he had the nerves to say he was innocent!!! He’s been jailed.
There’s an ongoing criminal charge case in South Africa where a young lady was giving testimony how a Pastor abused and took her innocence away and took advantage of her sexually for a long time since the age of 14, when all she wanted was to love and serve the Lord by singing unto the Lord. The man has his head bowed in court and again his wife and family members were all with him.
A Doctoral student, like me also pondered and wondered what it was exactly that made men predators want to sexually molest women.? He got a telephone line and advertised that he was going to keep the conversation confidential. He just wanted sufficient information on the subject for his dissertation. He was shocked that nearly 8 hours later, the telephone lines started ringing. Rapists were actually calling to give reasons from not being able to have the best girls back then in school and feeling they also deserved to have “best” girls by raping them, to psychological imbalance. Some claimed they were getting even with the wealthy men in the society who had everything. They felt by raping their daughters, wives or sisters they somehow got even with them.
How about a man who adducted over 5 girls and chained them to the basement of his home for years. He raped and abused them while the women were adjudged missing. One even got pregnant and gave birth still in the “detention cell” until luck ran out on him when one of the girls escaped and raised alarm.
We are told that statistically, perhaps we have a ratio of 6:1 women to men. This means that no matter how much deductions we made, there should still be more than one woman to a man. So why do the men feel it’s best to have unlawful canal knowledge of these women? A lecturer in a Nigeria University was set up by a student he was demanding sex for grades from. That’s just one in a million. How about maids who get abused by the masters and the master’s wife somehow gets to find out and keeps it secret and sends the maid away while her husband/ master still carries on in his nefarious conducts?
Some have said that it is perhaps the way the women now dress. Provocatively. Semi-nude. Revealing. Leaving very little to imaginations. Well, without holding brief for the ladies, they are entitled to dress any which way they deem fit. That doesn’t give any man license to violate the woman. It is an offense ranging from assault, battery and sexual misconduct to force oneself on any lady. I’ve heard the nonsense excuse that when a lady says no, she sometimes means yes as an excuse. A lady who is struggling to prevent being raped is saying yes!!?? Please!!!
Has anyone been spat at in the face before? Or has anyone used a whip to lash out at one before? Not as punishment for any crime or offense just lashing out as a violent and abusive conduct. The abused person never forgets. That abuse stays in the subconscious for years. Sometimes lifetime. Not to talk of a woman’s chastity.! Cloths ripped off. Subdued and sometimes even beaten to silence. Then raped!!! It’s so bad that a victim cannot even recount to horrible experience. They are so embarrassed about the abuse each time they want to recount it they choke in hate.
None of the men who are guilty of these acts can accept it to be done to their female relatives. So why does it feel good to do it to another person and abuse the person for a flitting pleasure of a minute.
Some have said that the men do it for power to show dominance over the woman. I would need a psychologists to help me out here. Have we tried to evaluate these predators to find out their state of mind before these conducts? Isn’t there anything medical science can do to help these vulnerable women?
What happened to that honorable feeling back in the days when a man feels dignified when he was able to woo a woman and have her all to himself? What happened to the fun to chasing a woman and charming her to give all of her being to the man? What happened to those niceties that made a woman glow and talk proudly about her man to her friends? Where has all that gone to?
There’s no acceptable reason to why a man can’t keep his zips up and his hands in his pocket!!! If he can’t do the honorable way out he must take the option of paying for sex from red light districts, but certainly not acceptable to abuse any woman sexually.
It seems the convictions have not deterred other predators. The criminal justice system should review punishment for sexual offender. They should be paraded in very shameful manner to bring them into disrepute in the process of handing them down punishments. It’s not enough to keep the punishment process secret or dignified when they’ve violated woman and they now get the respect of the legal system and they get to spend tax payers money feeding fat in jails? That’s not cutting it because the dignify should to criminals on this is too dignified. This is why the crime persists. This is why a predator will premeditate in committing sexual offenses and we stigmatize the victim instead of parading the predator in a very shameful manner and ensuring that his face is on every tabloid possible and his self respect and dignity completely eroded.
Let’s review our laws globally on this conduct. The women don’t fell very safe with some of these predators being released back into the society after some years.