It started when Lisa stumbled on some information on Henry’s phone. She saw condescending text messages and pictures from female admires she could not handle. Henry is a pilot. She tracked one particularly and the stories that ensued showed that the quick sudden trips Henry was making was not alone and the late night excuses was not work related.

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In the course of counseling, Lisa as her home had broken apart, her children felt no love in the home and they were living like flatmates, confessed that initially she felt justified and had evened up by paying the husband back in his own coin.

This is always a root to very bitter relationships. That beautiful marriage could not be saved.

They are in the divorce court today fighting over alimony and child support.

An elderly man, godfather counseled a couple once. Johnson suspected Olivia and reported his fears and suspicion to the godfather.

It turned out Johnson was right when Olivia out of fear of losing her marriage confessed to the godfather.

Johnson was out of town on a business trip. Olivia’s high school sweetheart dropped into town for business and ran into Olivia in the same insurance company where she worked.

It was a delightful reunion after roughly fifteen years. They chatted like old times and did not even realize they were holding hands.

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William, the long lost high school sweetheart to Olivia proposed lunch.

Olivia accepted without even thinking. “What could go wrong” she thought to herself…

Her husband was out of town and this was just a “harmless” lunch.

Statistics have shown that infidelity actually starts out from lunch and diner dates.

Most spouses do not remember the last time they had lunch or diner dates with their spouses.

When they do, they are probably too busy on their smartphones as the meal passes by.

But, while they dated, they used to look into each other’s eyes and talk a lot, now they are married they hardly date.

William invited Olivia over to his hotel “to further catch up on old times”.

Olivia did not even realize when she had bought some new underwear and nice gown to honor the “harmless date”. 

There is a saying about old firewood that catches fire very quickly no matter how many years apart.

They didn’t even know when they tore at each other’s cloths like two starved and deprived hyenas.

The hot passion soon subsided not exactly five minutes afterwards.

Reality set in. Olivia, all of a sudden felt very filthy and tried to scrub off the incident in the shower, but it would not wash away.

She jumped into her cloths and drove home like crazy.

It was not quite fifteen minutes after she got home that Johnson returned from his trip. Unexpectedly. Screen Shot 2019-06-05 at 02.05.06.png

Johnson first noticed how jumpy Olivia was and the welcome was not as romantic as it should be, having been nearly two weeks out of town.

Olivia hurriedly prepared diner for Johnson who was still very suspicious.

His suspicion was confirmed when his friend dropped by that evening and as he was seeing his friend off, they sat on the bonnet of Olivia’s car and it was still very hot!

Clearly, Olivia had not come back from work by 16:00hrs as she should.

Johnson asked Olivia when he got inside, when she retuned from work. Olivia lied and said she was home usual time, 17:00hrs.

She quickly pretended to be angry at the accusation!?

Johnson got more suspicious but did not tell Olivia how he suspected that the bonnet of a car parked since 17:00hrs would have cooled by 23:00hrs but this one was still blazing hot.

Olivia confessed all of this to the godfather as she was very repentant and sorry.

The clever godfather saved the marriage by counseling Olivia never to see William again, even though she aborted the six weeks pregnancy as she found out later she was pregnant for William, in just one night of recklessness.

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I met a lady once who said she encourages her husband to “hang out with the boys”. 

She said she even helps him pack his condoms probably and has cautioned the husband to always use condoms with the young girls but should never bring anyone home. She said her marriage has been peaceful and blissful since she gave her husband license to “cheat responsibly”.

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Someday, the husband may prefer those younger girls as the lady gets older. She may just be a piece of furniture in the house.

It would seem that most couples do not even understand the seriousness of the marriage institution.

Some got married because it felt like the right thing to do, at the time.

Others, was because they wanted children.

Yet, others was because they thought they would avoid being lonely and some, it was actually to escape the financial pressures of life.

It would seem that over 70% of couples got together married for the wrong reasons.

Some wanted a chef or a maid not a wife.

Some wanted an ATM Card and a loaded wallet not a husband.

Some wanted a nanny and a baby factory not a wife.

Cheating in marriage actually starts from the motive of getting married.

Not many couples have been honest to themselves on why they really got married.

Tyler Perry’s Movie: Why Did I Get Married Parts 1 & 2 would be very instructive on this subject…

Image result for gif tyler perry why did i get married

It would appear that the efforts and the best foot forward we put out while dating and wooing our spouses has taken the backseat the moment she accepts to be married.

We no longer do those things that tripped our spouses and we no longer work hard at the relationship.

Complacency sets in, the spouse is taken for granted not appreciated and before long discouragement sets in and people from outside start to pay compliments that get the spouse listening….

The advent of the cell phones has not made things easier.

So many couples spend more time on their cell phones than they spend together.

Some transfer their love to their children and the marriage takes the backseat.

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Marriages have hit the rocks for this singular reason of cheating and counting.

A recent survey showed its feverish pitch in the United States and the rate of divorce is unprecedented like no where else.

Celebrity couples are not spared in one scandal or the other even the politicians have their fair share of this.

One of the shortest marriages – divorce was thirty minutes after marriage. It’s been made easier now to quote “irreconcilable differences” as basis for seeking divorce.

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The wives have suddenly stopped loving their husbands and have become FBI Agents searching for evidence daily to “nail” the cheating husband.

My concern is in the area of the children we are breeding for the next generation.

If they are exposed all these violence and bad language and cheating?

What are we teaching them?Screen Shot 2019-06-05 at 03.15.38.png

It would take a lot of effort to return our homes and marriages back to what God meant it to be.

We must understand that there is a lot of attack on the family and homes.

If the home is destabilized as a result of infidelity and there is no love in the home, that’s a whole new generation messed up already.

When the parents are long gone, the children will also raise their own children from the examples they saw and the cycle continues.

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The solution actually lies in coming clean and having as much counseling as possible.

The couples must first desire to have a “renewed marriage”.

There has to be a lot of forgiveness.

Couples must realize that they cannot do this on their own, without the help of God.

Lust is a terrible thing, and when one is drawn by his or her own lust, to his or her own measure of it, gradually it builds up.

There’s a Governor I respect so much, but I was disappointed to hear how many marriages and homes he’s ruined.

He would literary check the wife out of the matrimonial home and furnish a love nest for her where he would meet with her.

Over time, the wives preferred this married man and forsook their marriages.

A friend told me how another Governor would come to his house where he had a couple tenant. The Governor would boldly come to the house the take the married lady on his trips.

When the married woman returns, she would jut buy a brand new car from the proceeds of adultery for the husband to keep him quiet.

We must be open and discuss everything under the sun with out spouses.

That is the best way to stay out of trouble.

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There are so many women out there looking for love in the wrong places.

Most of them want the “ready made” guy whom another lady worked her socks off to polish and the guy now is stable and is doing well.

Those are the types they go after.

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This is a snare and the spouses must be able to tell when the other spouse has started behaving “funny”.

Some may not be able to discuss it and it begins to build and what you allow to fester would grow and become a monster that cannot be controlled anymore. Screen Shot 2019-06-05 at 02.05.35.png

In spite of all of these, there are still a few good men standing, who understand the times and know that the end of all this is destruction of all they have ever built and stood for.

The grass can never be greener on the other side.

In any conversation with the opposite sex, before too long, introduce your wife in the conversation and introduce your children in the conversation.

This sends a very strong signal out immediately of strong family values.

People respect that.

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When a couple begins to hide his marital status and remove his wedding band after work or never talks nicely about the spouse, watch out!

If a female assailant is coming on strong, the best way to handle that is for the man to have his wife have a discussion a couple of times with the lady and those intentions before long will be extinguished.

It must first be that the couple cherish what they have together and are willing to work to keep it.

Even a Clergy Man can be suspect as we have seen in recent times in the news.

Nobody is exempted from these temptations.

We must all see the end (destruction) from the beginning.

However clever a spouse is at this game, the result is always bitter and devastating.

Some homes never survive it. Others depending on the level of investment into the home have committed one violent act or the other, and some just never recover.

It is time to take stock and inventory today.

Thank God if you have so far “operated successfully” in this department, so far. Screen Shot 2019-06-05 at 02.07.28.png

Cut those ties now.

Apart from the high sense of immortailty and the unfaithfulness involved in it, the best way to know how it feels is to imagine your spouse doing the same thing to you and perhaps you stumble into it.

No spouse has the “right” to cheat on the other. This is why we must take stock properly before we go into this union.

It is best a spouse is a friend and you can have every kind of discussion.Screen Shot 2019-06-05 at 02.01.50.png

Never assume you can handle all the temptations thrown at you. As you surmount one, another is thrown at you and another and another.

Before long, you defenses begin to weaken.

Before long, you no longer notice that you are crossing the boundaries and paying compliments you do not pay your wife.

Once you begin to accept lunch and diner dates, you have started beating the war drums.

Some couples cannot even handle confession.

I watched a Talk Show Personality grapple with handling infidelity in her home while she was always talking about “broken” homes and relationships.

This one happened right under her nose.

Her husband had been cheating on her with her staff until the staff got pregnant.

How disrespectful can that be?!.

So many flanks must have been left open.

When work becomes more important than the family values, one does not notice these tell tell signs.

So many are trying to see how she comes out of this, because she was always making complimentary remarks on her marriage and her husband.

Now she cannot do that anymore. Her face is showing a lot of strain and she cannot pretend for too long.

Fidelity is the only and highest respect we can show and give to our spouse.

Joseph in the Bible was faced with this when the wife of his Boss asked him to “come lie with her”.

Who was going to know?

This was a blank cheque. But he called it a “wicked” thing and could not see himself doing such a wicked thing to his Boss even though the wife of the Boss did not see it as a wicked thing.

Keep your nose clean. Your spouse can be whoever you want her or him to be.

Stop admiring others outside, work on yours. They worked on theirs.

If you  do not like your wife because of her weight, wake up in the morning and take her for a jog. Change her diet.

Work at it. If you do not like her choice of clothes, go shopping with her and get her the kind of cloths you want her to wear.

If you have free time from work dash back home, take your wife out on a date and leave them cell phones in the car.

You will be amazed what $20.00 lunch can produce.

God is counting on your marriage to save the next generation of children.

Make it count….


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